Since the outbreak of the war in Ukraine, romance and parenthood have become distant dreams for those who have remained in the country. Laura Gozzi from the BBC in Kyiv reports on the impact of the war on Ukrainian relationships and family planning.
Daria, a 34-year-old woman, has been single for a long time after spending over a decade in committed relationships. She hasn't had a proper date since before the war, and the prospect of meeting someone to start a family feels increasingly remote. This sentiment is shared by many women who stayed in Ukraine, as the war has forced them to rethink their relationships and parenthood decisions.
Khrystyna, 28, lives in the western city of Lviv and has been trying to meet a partner through dating apps without much luck. She notices that there are fewer men around, and many men of fighting age are afraid to go out due to conscription squads. Those who have returned from the front line are often traumatized, making it difficult to form relationships.
Daria lists three types of men available to women like her: those trying to avoid conscription, soldiers in long-distance relationships, and men under the conscription age. However, none of these options appeal to her.
Closer to the front line, many men on active duty are also shelving the idea of starting a relationship due to uncertainty and the risk of injury or death. They ask what they can offer a girl in such circumstances.
The consequences of this disruption are already being felt in Ukraine. The number of marriages has decreased sharply from 223,000 in 2022 to 150,000 in 2024. Ukraine has also seen a significant increase in deaths, emigration, and a decline in birth rates, leading to a dramatic drop in population.
Oleksandr Hladun, a demographer, describes these trends as the 'social catastrophe of war.' The birth rate has fallen sharply, and the total fertility rate is now at a record low of 0.9 children per woman, far below the 2.1 needed to maintain the population.
Even committed couples are affected by the uncertainty of war. Olena, a policewoman and military instructor, is freezing her eggs due to health issues. She and her husband plan to try IVF, but with consideration for her work and the country's situation.
The war's impact on fertility is a concern for gynecologists like Dr. Liubov Mykhailyshyn, who worries about chronic stress, sleepless nights, and physical and psychological trauma for those on the front line, all of which can cause fertility problems.
The Ukrainian government has developed strategies to tackle the problem, including affordable childcare and housing. However, these policies rely on local authorities, and projects often don't take off. As long as women and children remain exposed to the dangers of war, state-level efforts might not find much success.
The population decline in Ukraine is seen as a security threat, with Russia's larger demographic size posing an existential risk. The longer the war continues, the more uncertainty will dent the country's prospects for long-term recovery, making planning a future feel fragile and naive.
